Hello, lovers! Sorry it's been so long since my last blog post but, you know, I was busy. I post when I feel like I have something to say - and today, I have something to say! Today's post is about cumming aka orgasming. Specifically how I orgasm and don't orgasm.

In a session not too long ago, there was a gentleman who was eating me out for a while. Which is all fine and good, I love getting my kitty eaten! But he was taking a really long time down there and I was ready for some action. So I asked him if he wanted a condom and he said 'not until you come.' Those few little words put the brakes on my sex drive. If I were a man, my dick would have become limp instantaneously. WahWah! That puts pressure on me, the bad kind of pressure. The 'I haven't prepared for a presentation and now I have to speak in front of an auditorium full of people' pressure. So I basically told him it wasn't going to happen and the disappointment in his face! The poor guy. Like I killed his puppy. So I want to explain to you guys that it's hard for me. Why it's hard for me. It's been a journey...

It all started a long long time ago when I was about three years old. I would wake up in the morning and I would feel this magnificent feeling throughout my body. It would last for about 30 seconds but what a 30 seconds it was! I would feel all tingly and warm and it just brightened my day - I knew it would be a good one when I woke up with this feeling. After a few years, I learned how to make that magnificent feeling last longer. I would clench as if I was cutting off the stream of pee. And it would last about a minute to a minute and a half. I would be so disappointed when it ended because I didn't know what I could do to get that every morning. I now know what that feeling was and what muscles I was working to make it last longer. I was orgasming!  I don't know how. I don't know why. But I used to experience it from a very young age up until I hit puberty.

Then I hit puberty and boy did that time suck. No magnificent feelings when I woke up! I didn't know how to get that feeling back. I knew about masturbation but I was so ashamed and embarrassed to touch myself down there. When I got to high school, I bought little itsy bitsy vibrating bullets. After school I would go under the covers and place the little bullets in between my folds and wait for something to happen. It would just burn me down there from over stimulation. I killed a few of those things. My friends all thought I was a super kinky free spirit kind of girl. I was not. I was frustrated and embarrassed.

Then I started dating, I dated girls, I dated boys. I had sex. But I never orgasmed. I loved having sex, I enjoyed pleasing my partners - but there was no completion for me. The closest feeling I got when having sex was the urge to pee, which I didn't let myself because ew! Teenage girls don't pee on their boyfriends. That's gross.

Finally I made it to college. I broke up with my long-term boyfriend and focused all on my studies.No orgasms for me. Until one magical day, I took a bath. Hot baths relax me, it's a time to be alone with my thoughts, soothed by the sound of the water and calmed by the temperature. Well that day, there was no faucet on the bathtub. I lived in an old house so I guess it came loose and my father got rid of it until he could replace it. Anyway I went to fill up the water - I like sitting in the tub as it's filling up. Lo-and-behold the stream of water curved out from the pipe in the wall and landed right in between my legs. It felt a little okay so I opened my legs a little more. The warm stream hit me right where it counts. That day I figured out what that feeling I used to experience in the morning was.

From then on, I took lots of baths. I figured out different positions I could put myself in, with one leg up or both laying on the tub edge. I experimented with different temperatures - cold water would give me a harder orgasm. I even was comfortable enough to let that pee feeling (the one I used to get with my boyfriend) go. And it wasn't pee. It was great. It was a Renaissance for me! Until finally my father replaced the faucet on the tub. When I saw it, I tried to pry it off the wall with my bare hands - it budged but not enough. I even Googled how to take it off - but the fire had dissipated. I was doomed. That's what I deserve for touching myself and having too good of a time.

Cue another dry spell filled with shame and terrible sex. Just awful really bad sex. I wasn't pleasured at all. Not in the slightest. I tried with these people but there was no trust there. I was not comfortable enough to let myself go. I bought different vibrators and even used my hand but it wasn't the same.

Until, a boy pursued me for a long time. We played cat and mouse. Finally he convinced me to date him. And there was something about him - I felt I could be myself, with no pretenses. I trusted him and with that I was finally able to orgasm with another person. I discovered so much about myself - where my G-spot is, that I particularly enjoy penises with curvature, I like a pinky in my butt while fingered (that's lubricated).

The most important thing I learned was: I take a long time to orgasm, if at all. I'm not like a man who can cum every single time. Cumming is 20% Physical and 80% Mental for me. I have to be in the right state of mind. Which is hard. The smallest thing can shoot me on a tangent of emotion and I've lost the game before it even starts.

That's why sex for me, isn't always about completion. I'm not going to cum every time. I don't even orgasm 20% of the time.

But I'm still learning. I have more toys now, that I know how to use, thankyouverymuch! I've been in this industry 7 months and every day I get more and more comfortable with my sexuality. I'm able to put away the mental baggage and be present in the moment. I orgasm more often now with different partners. People that I just met - clients! Which is great! It's fantastic. It surprises me every time.

The reason I am able to orgasm is because they don't pressure me. It happens organically.

So please, guys. Don't pressure me. If you really care about my enjoyment, let things happen naturally.

I hope you enjoyed my orgasm life journey. I'm still learning what I like and don't like. I have a tiny butt plug in a drawer just begging me to use it. Haha! This industry is definitely expanding my horizons and I'm really happy with my job. So book me today! Lol.

Thanks for reading. Talk to you later!

XOXO
Jolene